Those who know me may be surprised to read that. Of course, I was beyond excited when I found out I was pregnant last January, and that excitement was genuine. But being pregnant was one thing—having a baby was another! See, I was one of the youngest in both my immediate and extended family, so I had very little experience with babies. I always loved the idea of babies and thought they were precious and wonderful, but decidedly intimidating. They seemed so fragile and temperamental.
Of course, social media was not particularly helpful in calming my fears (is it ever??). There are popular accounts with hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of followers highlighting the hardships of motherhood. The message was clear: your husband will become nothing more than a diaper-changing roommate, you will never sleep again, you will never drink hot coffee again in peace, and you and your house will never be clean again.
The Joys of Motherhood
However, I am happy to report with seven whole months of motherhood under my belt and approaching my first official Mother’s Day (my sweet husband got me flowers last year since I was, technically, a mother! My baby just wasn’t born yet!), having a baby has been more wonderful than I could have imagined. Although my experience may be a little better than most, since I have the world’s cutest, sweetest baby. I know that sounds cliche, but truly, I have discovered that they are cliches for a reason. It really does feel like my heart is crawling around outside my chest! I remember having an epiphany that I never understood how much my own Mom loved me until I had a baby.
I am so enamored with my baby that I often tell my husband that I want ten more! To which my competitive, baby-adoring husband always responds: “Well, I want 40 more!!”
Sure, there’s some truth to the negativity. I won’t deny I have spent days covered in spit-up and experienced levels of exhaustion I didn’t know were possible – but I think the reason you always hear about the hard stuff is because everyone can understand what it is like to be tired. But it feels impossible to explain the deep joys of having a baby. I simply don’t have the words!
My husband and I can (and have and will continue to) spend hours watching our baby boy, Daniel, play. Hearing him laugh is the greatest thing in the world. It is a wonder to see him experience everything anew for the first time.
I am humbled that God chose my husband and I to raise such a precious soul. What a weighty gift. That’s something I think our cultural conversation around motherhood misses. So much is debated about what will make you happy, what you will enjoy, etc. And I am happy, my heart feels like it is going to burst at the joy of it. But parenthood is wonderful because of the responsibility it holds. It reveals selfishness and brings needed perspective to the relatively small troubles of life.
We Need More Babies
Our world desperately needs more babies. Our own community, here in Pennsylvania, needs more babies. Troublingly, PA’s fertility rate is 1.58, well below the replacement level of 2.1. And those sweet babies need married parents and intact families to surround them. Almost 50% of children in Pennsylvania aged 15-17 are not living with married parents.
This puts into perspective just how much we need to celebrate mothers, babies, and families this Mother’s Day. We celebrate God’s perfect design and rejoice in the gift of motherhood.
I cannot end this reflection on Mother’s Day without a final address: to those who are facing Mother’s Day experiencing the pain of infertility or pregnancy loss, I am so deeply sorry. I realize there is nothing I can write to fully express that or to take away the hurt. Words in an email are not enough. I want to hug you, sit with you, cry with you, pray for you. May God, who sees you and knows you, grant you his peace which surpasses all understanding.
